It was mid March and even at 3am, it was humid — that didn’t help with how irritated i was.
“I feel like an idiot.” I muttered to myself while driving home. I let out a loud groan and started hitting my hand on the dashboard. Earlier that day, i went to see PB at his office for a meeting. Knowing i’d see him, i put on one of my nicest form fitting dresses, a pair of sexy heels and fixed up my hair nicely. I was nervous but excited at the same time. I had made a decision to finally make a move – i settled to saying a subtle but extremely flirty comment that would hopefully confirm that he was interested in me too. And boy did i regret it.
Over the last couple of weeks we had grown even closer, we had frequent sales meetings together and regardless who we were with — we were awesome. At this point, we could read each other so well that prepping for meetings weren’t needed. We made sure we played off each other’s expertise and made good progress with the client. The magnetic pull seemed undeniable and there were hints here and there that he was interested. He’d call to check up on me regularly — he’d ask about stuff he already knew or call to tell me stuff he didnt need to tell me about (so would i). He’d rarely say anything sweet but once or twice he’d say something like – if our offices were close to each other it would be so easy to just come and see you. Our small circle of friends were teasing us too- saying stuff like, “PB hardly ever says yes when we ask to go out until you came along, SG. He only ever agrees to go out if you’re going to be there.” Needless to say, after what seemed like forever, i had a huge crush on someone – but this wasnt an innocent high school crush. I’d dream about him – the unbelievably naughty kind where he’d put his tongue down my throat and we rip each other’s clothes off then have dirty passionate sex in an empty office somewhere. Anyway, that day, i was done just dreaming about him. I wanted just one night. So i mustered up all my courage and decided to make my move that day.
So as i was packing up to leave, i blurted out,
SG: “PB, have you ever thought about,” paused to breathe, “I mean would you ever consider — being friends with benefits with someone?”
He stopped to look at me and i pretended to be busy packing my laptop.
PB: “Depends on who. I have a couple of friends that have “friends” like that..”
He looks at me curiously. Was that a smirk?
SG: “Just your friends? So you’ve never had one before?”
Wait for it…
PB: “Do you have one? Or are you considering someone?”
SG: “i dont have one but just like you, i would consider it depending on who it is….”
Wait for it…… Wait…. Anytime now… 1 minute passes….. 2…….2.5…… Ah fuck, i cant pretend to pack my things forever!
SG: “Well.. Its late. I better go.”
PB: “Wait. ill take you to your car.”
He stands up from his chair, walks briskly to his door and holds it open for me.
I flash my biggest most innocent smile and he smiles an awkward smile back at me. I crumble inside with shame and embarassment.
“Aaaarrrrrggghhh i am so stupid!!!” I yell at myself and floored the gas pedal. Okay, SG, you are done. You gave an opening and you were shut down. He is not into you. Get over it.
It was mostly business as usual after that until — one late Wednesday night, my phone rings.
SG: “Heyyy. How’ve you been?”
PB: “Hi. So did you see that email that we have a pitch on Monday?”
PB: “are you done with work?”
SG: “Yup. Just finished an on site presentation for ___.”
PB: “Can you meet me at that restaurant in 15 minutes? Let’s talk over dinner.”
PB: “Im packing up now. See you there, okay?”
He hangs up and my heart is going 1000000000 miles per minute. There was something in his voice. Did i imagine it? Probably. Maybe not. Could this be? Nahhh. This is probably nothing. But what if …
I stand up quickly and started to pack my stuff.