I sat there listening to him tell a story about his dad; How he looked up to him, how people respected and loved him and how he felt when he passed away. My heart went pitter patter quietly. He looked back at me as he spoke, and there i was controlling every urge to kiss him. It’s been 2 hours since we met up for dinner and we’ve laughed and talked about so many things. This was the first time we met alone and i was enjoying every minute of it.
I patted his back as he ended his story and said, “i’m sure your dad is very proud of you. He was a great man just like you.” He smiled sincerely and i smiled back, we both fell silent as we looked at each other. Ask me please. Ask why i asked you that a few days ago. Come on. I cant be the only one feeling this – whatever this is. He started shifting uneasily from his seat seemingly wanting to say something but instead he said,”Ill just go to the restroom.”
As he stood and turned his back on me, i let out a huge sigh and rested my head on the table. This is excrutiating. I think i’m about to lose my mind. ” he came back after a few minutes and sat beside me again. “One last beer?” He asked and i nodded my head. Oh fuck it! I swallow the big lump in my throat and said “So, were you surprised i asked you about friends with benefits?” I faked a chuckle. “I dont know what i was thinking!” Another fake chuckle.
PB: “Well, i thought about it and as long as there’s no feelings involved, I’ll go for it… it’s just that – i’m not comfortable making the first move.”
SG: “Actually neither do i…….usually….”
PB: “Uhhhh.. but.. i’m free tomorrow after lunch if you are…….”
My heart stopped. What the? Did he just?
SG: “… i think i am too. Im usually pretty open on Fridays.”
It felt like the air went from 40 to a hundred degrees.
PB: “… then i’ll pick you up around 1pm? I’ll call you when i’m on my way.”
My face turns beet red but i nod my head and let out a nervous “okay”. He said the same. I took a huge gulp out of my beer then started laughing.
SG: “Why the hell am i so nervous! This is so awkward!”
He starts laughing out loud.
PB: “I’ve been so nervous since you got here! I had to push myself to focus on the things you said.”
I laugh out loud.
SG: “At least i finally got a reaction from you. I seriously thought that you weren’t interested or maybe that you just didnt get it.”
PB: “Of course i did! But i was caught off guard and panicked. And when i finally taught of something to say you stood up to leave.”
SG: “I was embarassed! It took me a lot of courage to blurt that out you know.”
PB: “I know…. i’m pretty impressed that you asked first. I mean… I kinda felt that there might be something between us but was never really sure so i was waiting for more clues or signs.” He laughs.
SG: “Really?? When did you start feeling that way?” I sat up, sincerely curious.
PB: “i dont know. It was just a feeling. A few weeks ago when we sat close together while smoking, It seemed like there was electricity between us.”
SG: “What? When did that happen? I can’t say i felt the same thing but i’ve liked you for a while now. So maybe, subconciously i was sending signals.”
PB: “I felt a really strong connection between us that day. And i thought a lot more about you since then”
We smile at each other. My heart was beating out of my chest.
SG: “So i guess we should set some rules or something… and you keep on saying no feelings so that can be the first one.”
PB: “Yeah. And – We should only talk about our stuff when we are at work. All other calls or messages after work should be strictly work related.”
SG: “That’s fine. 3rd – We cant tell anyone about this. Seriously, no one.”
SG: “Last, we should put a deadline. So just in case one of us lies about our feelings or something we can avoid any complications because we break up by the deadline no matter what.”
PB: “Okay.. so until when?”
SG: “hmmm.. How about 10 dates and we stop no matter what?”
PB: “That’s enough time i think. Deal.”
I flash a big smile and started giggling. He smiles back and says, “By the way, that dress looks really good on you…..” I’m pretty sure my face was beet red at this point. “And uh, i wanted to hold your hand this whole time but my hands were all sweaty …. so i couldn’t.”
SG: “I guess we can try that on our first date?”
PB: “Well, i’m pretty sure we’ll do more than hold hands on Friday. A lot more.”
I slyly come up closer to him. “Are you sure you can handle a thirsty Scorpio like me?”
He bites his lip and says, “Let’s see who taps out first. My bet’s on you.”