Rants and Raves

Agony

There are days when i wish i didn’t love him as much as i do. Days when i wish i could turn back time and do things differently. It rarely happens but when it does, it feels like i’ve been hit by a ton of bricks. 

Why does love make us stupid anyway? Why does it make strong and confident human beings crumble and fall to their knees? Why does it kill your logical reasoning? Why? 

From the outside looking in, i know what to do but why can’t i find the strength to do it? Why can’t i walk away when i know that is the only way to save myself? I am upset and angry but at the same time i feel weak and helpless. I feel his love and his frustration that he can’t give me all that he can. I am happy but in pain at the same time. There is trust and doubt. Light and darkness. 

Dear Heart, why now? Why him? Why me? 

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